i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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