Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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