My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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