I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
