I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
