Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
