Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My life is pants optional.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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