Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
