we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
