Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
