I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize