theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Drake has all the answers
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
