i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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