yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
