You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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