she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
