I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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