He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
