She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize