There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
