Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
