Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
as a side note pls kill me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
