Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
