on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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