i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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