Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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