She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
