I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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