:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
