I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
