I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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