Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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