did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
