don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
