You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
