You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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