so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
