I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
