i just had sex bonerless
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
