the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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