i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I skipped work to stalk him.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
