we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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