Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
did i just pee glitter
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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