saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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