summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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