wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i dont even know how to be here
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
