I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
