There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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