Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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