Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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