i think my mom watched the whole time
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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