Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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