"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
