oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
