No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
