i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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