Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
