first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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