and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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