Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
being pregnant is like rehab
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
