I'm eating all of the evidence.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
