Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
