Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
