oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
