I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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