I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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